Monday

Well, all I can say is that it has been a crazy couple of weeks. I'm glad things should be settling back down now. Or, you know, it probably won't. Oh well *shrugs*.
Anyway, I don't know where to start.
I'm applying to a college, which is good. I just can't seem to make any headway with the essays I have to write. I don't know if it's a mental bloke, fear of not writing the right thing or presenting myself to wrong way (since more often then not things tend to sound better in my head than on paper), or what's up. I'm not sure what's slowing me down, but I don't like it and I have to hand everything in soon.
A professor had asked me to send some drawing samples of my work and I was finally able to send some pictures over. Though I'm dreadfully nervous about whatever he says, my work was cartoon-ish and only semi-realistic. He may be more interested in figure drawing or landscapes and I'm just hoping I sent over at least some decent pictures. "All of which makes me anxious, at times unbearably so." 
On the bright side, I'll hopefully get into a summer art class that will help me a lot.

I'm going to say that it has been a good day so far. Yes.

Post of In-ter-est:
It's a parody of Portal, the video game, and The Nightmare Before Christmas, the stop motion movie. I thought it was really well done and at the very least, it's in 3D.

Concentration is out the window today. It seems that as soon as I sit down to do one thing, I have to get up and do something completely different.
And when I do manage to sit down, in my head I'm just going: 

How some people can deal with paperwork, I will never know because it is driving me mad. Have a lovely day.

Monday, How I dislike these days...

Well, I don't know what to write really.
So much to do with still, so little time and by head is at a standstill right now.
At least Finals are going easy enough. I'll have to focus on Economics for right now...
E-mail isn't working....
*RAGE*
Anywho...
At least there's a good side to everything right now.
I went to an open house for Daemen College's Animation program and let me tell you, it was astounding. I loved it, I'd live there, I want to go there. It's honestly other-worldly there. I love it.

Deadlines are closing in and I still don't feel like I accomplished anything today. *sigh*
On the bright side; I bought chocolate, so all is well for now.

Render-Render-Rendering

Oh, it takes so long,
So much that I've thought of a song;
Oh, woe is me,
For this shall take an eternity;
Oh, starts with an object,
I'm sure, I have double checked;
Oh, watch the clock,
The time it takes, comes as a shock;
Oh, what a neat program,
It's so nice then- WHAM!
I'll have to start, all over again.
-HH

*bows*

My "Day Off"

I put quotations there because I have to work like crazy today. Finals, the end of the marking period, projects and just about everything else is due next week and I want it both to never arrive and finally be over, at the same time.
Things I learned today:
a) If you set an alarm at 9:30, you should probably set a 2nd one just in case you sleep through it and end up waking up at 14:22 >_<
b) It is easier to add holes to a belt by a nail & hammer then it is to do it with a knife. Now my index finger on my right hand, the one I use, has a cut on it & hurts, and it is a pain in the butt to type, write, or do anything without using it. However, that is what I get for being careless with a sharp object like a knife. >_O;;
c) I hate economics as much as I dislike the scummy part of the world. We have to do a project that revolve around the idea that if we were to be kicked out of the house with no high school degree and would have to find a a place to live and work, but it's completely impossible in this state. Any place that is affordable, is surrounded by convicted offenders, and any place safe costs three times as much! It's impossible and I have no idea how I'm going to finish this kind of project along with the rest of Film Studies and Animation. I really don't want to have to retake any classes and I'll have to if I don't pass these projects. Not to mention I'm constantly worrying over everything else. Jeez. I guess I have the January blues or something because everything just seems to make me slightly depressed.
On the plus side, I'm going to look at a college soon for their animation program, I really hope that goes over well :3

Post

Well, I am so happy that it is Friday. It's been a long week. I'm glad I can just have a night night in and watch The Shining. :D
We learned about particle emitters which makes me remember using it in Motion, I loved using it.
Post of Interest:

Tv Static

This is just a long post of me complaining, basically: I'm feeling overworked. There, just saved you a few minutes. Continue on if you want.

... I do not think I am having a pleasant day. 

I have been getting so worried about college, projects, finals, tests, family, and just about everything else under the sun that my brain has simply stopped. I find myself staring off at a wall, my head somewhere miles away but not thinking about anything and I really haven't been registering anything that's being taught to me even when I do pay attention.

Maybe I just have so much to do that I simply do not know where to start, I don't know, but now I'm always tired and reluctant to do anything, that is beginning to annoy me. I'm tired of being tired.

I tried to go to bed early but I didn't until around 23:45, and when I woke up I could barely walk without stumbling over myself. I stayed home, wanting to sleep for another hour, hoping it would make me feel better, but when I woke up, I was already late and it was 10:30. I had to already be in class by 10:00, so I had to rush over and that really didn't help anything. I missed classes I really shouldn't have and now I'm regretting the choices I made this morning because it didn't help anything.

I'm starting to become stupid from the sleep deprivation.

I'm still tired and indifferent to just about everything. I have work to do, but every time I try to at home, my siblings just distract and annoy me to the point where I don't get anything done or I just want one moment of peace that ultimately leads to procrastination in the form of chores or pacing the room.

3D is starting to worry me, there's just so much information on it I can't remember it all, no matter how much I study. I go home and re-read everything, re-write the notes, go on the forums and help guide, but nothing makes much sense when I finally open the software. Everything in my head just goes blank, I feel like I'm looking at a foreign language and I hate that. I'm just getting the hang of the earlier lessons and I feel like I'm behind. It only add more stress when I think about colleges looking at these kinds of projects to see if they'll accept me, so I have to be good at it because doesn't everything in the future determine whether how good I am at something now? Not to mention how I'll pay for college in the first place, financial aide makes no sense and I have no money coming my way anyways. I haven't even applied for a college in the first place, or for a job for that matter. I don't even know where to begin to make that happen.

...I'm going to forget about that job application paper I got, in order to get credits for boces or something like that... Note To Self: I have to ask about that later.

So I have no job, no college that I've applied for, can't drive, and I can't seem to hold my head above the water long enough to learn something or even get enough sleep. I keep telling myself it's not as bad as it seems, and it probably isn't. But I just can't seems to shake this uneasy feeling, I feel as if I'm slipping and I'm afraid of going forward, but I have no choice but to do so. I'm running out of time to do everything, deadlines are coming in just a bit over a week and no matter how many times I tell myself to at least get started on something, I just can't seem to bring myself to do it. I want to, I need to, I believe I have the ability to, so why can't I? I'm willing to "take the first step" to get everything done if only I knew how or where to. I don't know what's stopping me, and I guess that's why I'm so melancholy at the moment. Maybe I'm having a mental block or something.

I'm trying to take things one step at a time, but all I can see is where that step leads to and so on like that until everything just begins piling up again. I just want to sleep and not feel so tired, but I'll just loose time, loose another day to get things done and I can't help but feel that not only will I crash & burn... I'll fricken explode.

Ka-boom.

Post of interest, yes

It's not in 3D but it was very well made and I have always loved listening to this song xD

Well I had a good day. I was running late this morning, but since I had nothing but study halls I wasn't too concerned and I took my friend out for breakfast. Then there was just regular school.
All the demos are crazy, it's like the stuff that's easy to get is in English, but anything new and it's like it's a foreign language and I'm like:



Very frustrating, but interesting.
...I got nothing. Ciao.

Posts of Interest

Since we're learning about 3D, I'd figure I'd show a fan made Dr. Who opening scene:


And this one of a kiwi:

Bla-Dah-Dae

Well, this week we were introduced to 3D, which is AWESOME.
We learned about objects and I have to say the effects of it all are pretty neat, albeit hard to get at first.

I saw that Cheetah had particle emitters as well and I would love to learn how to use those, if they're anything like the ones in Motion they'd be pretty neat.